Thursday, 31 December 2009

glorified bum

Had this on today for old times sake seeing as it's the end of the year n all. Makes me wish I was a teenager growing up in the 90's, a time when grime was something that grew on your windowsill and you cleaned it with JIF (cif wtf?). On the downside, the teenagers that were raving to this tune in the 90's are now probably resenting life - having left an age where it is socially acceptable to have 'glorified bum' (aka student) status, and entering an age which leaves them relentlessly vulnerable to the dreaded 'mid life crisis' status. So for now, I'll be grateful being 20 years old and deal with being 30-odd, kissing managerial ass to get a promotion to 'senior stamp licker' (or something like that), in another decade.


Tuesday, 29 December 2009

smd x saam farahmand

Introducing Saam Farahmand. He's liked for his work with the Klaxons and Janet Jackson, and has been roped in to shoot a video for Simian Mobile Disco's flawless collaboration with Beth Ditto. Now not one to shy away from a challenge, he's only gone all out, penned down all the disturbing thoughts swirling about in his mind, and turned it into a short movie. I like this one - its similar to reading about Amy Winehouse (disturbing but captivating).

Vice has followed him around for the Vodafone Heroes project as he gets down and dirty with girl on girl action, lightbulb injecting, seductive dancing, drug play, ulterior motives, and other disturbing acts. All within the confines of a classic georgian wood panelled room.


death by sales

Forget christmas spirit. The scene at Selfridges on boxing day was more reminiscent of the Hillsborough disaster than a department store sale, with people clambering over each other to grab the first ill-fitting garment that made it into their peripheral vision. Sure, I can remember being 15 and the joys of blowing all my christmas money on cut price designer gear or something of the sort, but as I stood there wedged between a rudeboy and a grandma all I could think was: Why the fuck would you want to do this?

10 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Ever Bother With The Sales

1. Because you'll probably never wear that shitty t-shirt one size too big.

2. Because that 16 year old chav over there with his hood up and hand down his pants will be wearing that same t shirt in a weeks time.

3. Because after you hit 18, there is a wonderful thing called debt which allows you to purchase goods at full price whenever you want. Fuck the system, go nuts.

4. Because all the good stuff is usually gone after the first day, and the first day also brings out the most blood-thirsty, mentally unstable 'bargain hunters' who WILL fuck you up for those half price jeans.

5. Because that gang behind you has probably just stolen your wallet.

6. Because by buying that shiny silver jacket for 50% off, you are paying for the rest of it with your dignity.

7. Because no one likes desperation. It's awkward. Save it for the mid life crisis.

8. Because you see that last bargain pair of jeans you bought one size too small, when you managed to squeeze into them holding your breath? Have fun wearing them on an daily basis.

9. Because sales assistants will think and treat you like you're the spawn of satan. Thats right, THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

10. Because sale purchases will not change your life. No matter what Selfridges says.

Shop at your peril.

Monday, 28 December 2009

on a roll

This guy is a master of the lens. Watch him follow Shingo on a night time tour of Tokyo. Check out more of his work at

Underground Vibes from 13thWitness™ on Vimeo.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

eye candy

Heres Tezza Richardson doing what he does best: making womens' tops randomly pop off. If he was a misfit, he'd definitely be the slutty bird with the insatiable appetite.

Also, the new video for the Jay Z x Mr Hudson collaboration dropped today:

ALSO, just thought I'd throw this into the mix. Just because.

So yeah, I didn't make it out today. Snow has won. It is slowly chipping away at the very foundations of my existence. That and the fact that I woke up at 3pm.

Looks good though.

Monday, 21 December 2009

winter wonderland

Sorry its been a bit quiet round here on the blogging front. Apart from the preset Vice message, I haven't really had the time (been arsed) to update my humble piece of webspace. But blog I promise from now on, not to drop you and pick you up when I fancy like a cheap whore. Promise.

I got back into London late last night and the snow here is crazzzzyy. Now I'm usually a fan of snow, but walking through it with my life in my backpack, looking like a total mug taking babysteps to avoid slippage, isn't exactly disneyland. Come to think of it, snow has the potential to turn people into disturbed socially inept hermits unable to leave their homes. Mark my words, that innocent looking snow can and will ruin your life.

I did however today, in between random napping and christmas tv-ing, stumble across a pretty fly number to add to the christmas wish list.

guarantees to add 2 inches of human height for any shorties out there

I have big plans for tomorrow, main one being leaving the house. I will not be defeated by this bastard snow and I need to break this self destructive cycle of sleeping and lazing. I WILL wake up at a normal time and I WILL buy something decent to wear for christmas dinner. I will.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

vice x vodafone

Vice teamed up with Vodafone and spent the last few months working on a series of projects with some of their most talented friends, making short films, flying planes, building high-fashion wendy houses - that sort of thing. Obviously they brought cameras along to film everything, and you can watch it all here -